THE BANKS OWN YOUR SENATOR

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AND OTHER MESSED UP NEWS, DUDE
--LIKE, I MEAN, Y'KNOW?

MORE STOOOOOOPIT STUFF FROM OUR MEDIA

YOUTUBE
"The Christian's Guide to Stripping, Lesson One"
What would Jesus do? I'm guessing he'd be a big tipper.



Crazy, Sick, Sad, Horrifying Stories & Current Events

Here's the worst of it: Instead of giving hard-pressed home-owners the right to renegotiate inflated mortgages they can no longer afford, your tax-paid representatives in the US Senate gave the banks the right to foreclose on them for the pre-crash (which banks caused) prices, which are no longer obtainable in reality. Many more people will be forced to simply walk away from homes that are now worth WAY less than the money they owe on them, thanks to the politicians listed below: Twelve "Democrats" (In Name Only) voted against their own constituents, and for the bankers who own their slimy asses. So did all the slimeball Republicans, of course, every last one of them. Remember in November, 2010.


NY TIMES
"Senate Refuses to Let Judges Fix Mortgages in Bankruptcy "
Banksters mob Senators: You lose: Take down their names:
1. Baucus (D-MT)
2. Bennet (D-CO)
3. Byrd (D-WV)
4. Carper (D-DE)
5. Dorgan (D-ND)
6. Johnson (D-SD)
7. Landrieu (D-LA)
8. Lincoln (D-AR)
9. Nelson (D-NE)
10. Pryor (D-AR)
11. Specter (D-PA)
12. Tester (D-MT)

' The Senate handed a victory to the banking industry on Thursday, defeating a Democratic proposal that would have given homeowners in financial trouble greater flexibility to renegotiate the terms of their mortgages. The mortgage provision garnered only 45 votes in the Senate, falling well short of the 60 votes necessary to break a threatened filibuster to a measure sponsored by Senator Richard Durbin, Democrat of Illinois, that would give bankruptcy judges greater flexibility to modify mortgages. In recent weeks, major banks and bank trade associations worked closely with Senate Republicans to stop the measure. Twelve Democrats joined all the Republicans in voting against it. It also demonstrates that, even though Democrats are close to gaining 60 votes in the Senate with the recent decision by Senator Arlen Specter to leave the Republican Party, the increasing number of Democrats does not prevent the Republicans — with the support of a handful of moderate or conservative Democrats — from blocking legislation. Mr. Specter voted against the provision. President Obama sought the cramdown provision during the election, although the White House has done virtually nothing to move it through Congress. '

YAHOO NEWS
"As pay falls, CEOs get more perks"
$400,000? More than most of us make? How 'bout TEN TIMES more than most of make???!!! And that's just in executive PERKS! What PLANET are these reporters from, anyway?

' But plenty of companies are keeping the spigots open. Occidental Petroleum CEO Ray Irani, for example, received $400,000 worth of financial planning, part of a $30 million pay package in 2008. To put it another way, that $400,000 in financial planning is more than the total annual household income of the vast majority of Americans. Occidental spokesman Richard Kline said the comprehensive financial planning helps Irani to "keep his complete attention on the company's business." '

TG DAILY.COM
"NASA jobs slashed as shuttle fleet is retired"
And the sign says: "SPACE AVAILABLE." --Brother, can you spare an O-ring?

' Over the next five months, 900 manufacturing jobs are to go. The first 160 layoff notices go out today, mainly to contractors producing the space shuttle fuel tanks outside New Orleans and the shuttle solid rocket boosters in Utah. The prime contractors for these are Lockheed Martin, which makes the solid fuel tanks, and ATK Thiokol, which builds solid fuel boosters. Some people will be transferred to other projects. '

MCCLATCHY
"Palestinians try cheese-making and produce a fine pecorino"
AL-LAH! Who cut the cheese?

' Baldini admits that Golden Sheep is not for everyone. The comparably expensive Italian cheese is made for middle- and upper-class Palestinians who have lived abroad, as well as the endless stream of international aid workers, diplomats and journalists now living in the region. At local tastings, Palestinians unaccustomed to hard, sharp, Italian cheeses tend to find it unpalatable. "You had to see the faces of the people when they tasted it for the first time," said Matteo Crosetti , a Ucodep project coordinator in the West Bank. '

YAHOO NEWS
"8-year-old Saudi girl divorces 50-year-old husband"
The bride cited irreconcilable dentures. Old enough to bleed, old enough to plead?

' A court in the central Oneiza region previously rejected a request by the girl's mother for a divorce and ruled that the girl would have to wait until she reached puberty to file a petition then. '

BBC
"LA man linked to serial killings"
Equal-opportunity serial-killer overcomes prejudice to excel in mass-murder. Did police, probation officers & parole boards assume blacks were not smart enough to be suspects in serial-killings? Is that why they kept putting this monster back on the street, and never investigated him for all these murders? Not the milestone we were looking for.

' Capt Cremins said that Thomas, a former state insurance claims adjuster, is now a suspect in at least 25 other killings, and the number could grow as detectives re-investigate unsolved cases going back to the 1950s. "If he turns out to be the guy, he probably would be the largest ever (serial killer) in the city of Los Angeles," he said. In the first wave of killings in the mid-1970s, a man dubbed the Westside Rapist entered the Los Angeles homes of dozens of elderly women, raped them and choked them. Seventeen of the victims died. During that time, Thomas worked as a social worker, a hospital employee and a salesman. Police say the attacks stopped in 1978 - the year Thomas went back to prison for the rape of a woman in Pasadena. He was released in 1983, the year that another series of attacks on elderly women began, detectives say. '

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NEWS THAT'S PAID ITS' DUES

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WEIRD, WONDROUS, WOBBLY STORIES, REPORTS, DISPATCHES

MAKES YOU WONDER WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

YOUTUBE
"Hot Chick Stripper Pole Mishap. Funny."



Well, Quite Frankly, It's None Of Your Bloody Business. Move Along!

NY TIMES
"Radio Host Has Drug Company Ties"
Whores on NPR!

' An influential psychiatrist who was the host of the popular public radio program “The Infinite Mind” earned at least $1.3 million from 2000 to 2007 giving marketing lectures for drugmakers, income not mentioned on the program. The psychiatrist and radio host, Dr. Frederick K. Goodwin, is the latest in a series of doctors and researchers whose ties to drugmakers have been uncovered by Senator Charles E. Grassley, Republican of Iowa. Dr. Goodwin, a former director of the National Institute of Mental Health, is the first news media figure to be investigated. Dr. Goodwin’s weekly radio programs have often touched on subjects important to the commercial interests of the companies for which he consults. In a program broadcast on Sept. 20, 2005, he warned that children with bipolar disorder who were left untreated could suffer brain damage, a controversial view. '

NPR
"Blue Mailboxes Disappearing"
Red hatboxes interstellar transport! Is that the correct response?

' When's the last time you sent an email or paid a bill online? Now how about the last time you sent a letter? This year, the U.S. Postal Service will deliver eight billion fewer letters than it did seven years ago. This sharp decline is why blue mailboxes are disappearing from America's postal landscape. National Postal Museum Historian Nancy Pope says when blue mailboxes disappear, Americans lose part of their heritage. "You're taking something away that is part of their memory, part of their history, part of their community" she says. "And whether they use it on a regular basis or don't, when something is gone that used to be there, there is a pang there, a nostalgia that just hits in automatically." Nostalgic or not, the postal service says in a time of economic distress and rapidly decreasing revenue, warm fuzzies can't trump the bottom line. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Astronauts tinker with urine-to-water machine"
Obvious typo.

' Inside the space station, astronauts spent a fourth day Sunday trying to get a urine processor working. The processor is part of the newly delivered $154 million system that converts urine, sweat and condensation into drinking water. Fincke and shuttle astronaut Donald Pettit tried to fix the problem by changing how a centrifuge in the urine processor is mounted, but the machine stopped running after 3 1/2 hours during a test run. During previous tests, the urine processor has worked for just two hours at a time before shutting down. A normal run is about four hours. "It looks like we made things better, but we're maybe not there yet," Fincke told Mission Control. Parts of the system that recycle sweat and condensation are working without problems. Endeavour undocks from the space station on Thanksgiving Day and returns to Earth on Saturday. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Solar panels on graves give power to Spanish town"
They eat the bodies and vomit in the graves. Recycling.

' Santa Coloma de Gramenet, a gritty, working-class town outside Barcelona, has placed a sea of solar panels atop mausoleums at its cemetery, transforming a place of perpetual rest into one buzzing with renewable energy. "The best tribute we can pay to our ancestors, whatever your religion may be, is to generate clean energy for new generations. That is our leitmotif," said Esteve Serret, director Conste-Live Energy, a Spanish company that runs the cemetery in Santa Coloma and also works in renewable energy. '

REUTERS
"Israel jails eight Jewish neo-Nazis"
Attacking Arabs? Hm, wonder where they got that idea?

' An Israeli court jailed eight Jewish teenagers on Sunday for carrying out neo-Nazi attacks in a case that sparked revulsion in a state that was a haven for Jews after the Holocaust. Tel Aviv District Court Judge Zvi Gurfinkel sentenced the teenagers, aged 16 to 19, to between one and seven years in prison for a "shocking and horrifying" year-long spree of attacks that targeted foreign workers, ultra-Orthodox Jews and homeless men. The court said the group also planned to attack Arabs. The youths videotaped and posted on the Internet some of their attacks. The charges against them included painting swastikas in a synagogue and planning a birthday party for Hitler, court documents showed. '

THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR
"Palestinian security gets a feminine touch"
In dealing with terror, etiquette is important.

' "Palestinian police surround the house of suspected militants and knock, demanding to be let in. Normally, they'd kick in the door if it didn't open immediately, but today they have the thing that every home is said to need: a woman's touch. As part of a new Palestinian Authority (PA) security initiative, this unit, like every Hebron unit that searches houses, has two female officers to bring a gentler side to long-stigmatized house raids. We talk to them gently," says Ms. Farraj, a lean, muscular woman who wears an Islamic head scarf that matches her camouflage suit of green and brown. "We address them with the same terminology you would use for your mother, your sister, or your aunt." Or, in the words of Capt. Mohammed Il-Jabari, who runs such raids several times a week: "As soon as we walk in, the women are in charge." By using female police officers on housing searches, "we have preserved our customs and morals," says General Safy. "Every time we arrest, we take some policewomen with us." '

AFP
"US officials flunk test of American history, economics, civics
I got a perfect score. When do I get my $700 billion prize?

' US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday. Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI). "It is disturbing enough that the general public failed ISI's civic literacy test, but when you consider the even more dismal scores of elected officials, you have to be concerned," said Josiah Bunting, chairman of the National Civic Literacy Board at ISI. "How can political leaders make informed decisions if they don't understand the American experience?" he added. '

REUTERS
"Parliament picks bomb hoaxer as speaker"
I'd be careful opening packages, if I were the President of Lithuania. And I'd dress warmly.

' Lithuania's newly elected parliament has chosen as its new speaker a popular television talent show host once convicted of placing a prank call about a bomb in a hotel. The speaker is first in line to lead the ex-Soviet state, which joined the European Union and NATO in 2004, if the president dies in office or is dismissed. '

REUTERS
"Maverick Thai general does the hand-grenade waltz"
I'm seeing a pattern here. Anyone else seeing a pattern?

' A maverick Thai general who has threatened to bomb anti-government protesters and drop snakes on them from helicopters has been reassigned as an aerobics teacher, the Bangkok Post said on Friday. Major-general Khattiya Sawasdipol, a Rambo-esque anti-communist fighter more commonly known as Seh Daeng, reacted with disappointment to his new role as a military instructor promoting public fitness at marketplaces. "It is ridiculous to send me, a warrior, to dance at markets," he said, before launching an attack on his boss, army chief Anupong Paochinda. "The army chief wants me to be a presenter leading aerobics dancers. I have prepared one dance. It's called the 'throwing-a-hand-grenade' dance," he said. His predictions of grenade attacks against People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD) protesters occupying Government House made headlines last month, especially when they turned out to be correct. One protester was killed and 23 wounded by a grenade blast on Thursday. Seh Daeng has denied any involvement. '

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NUDNIKS IN THE NEWS

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PEOPLE EVEN STUPIDER THAN ME & YOU

WELL, STUPIDER THAN YOU, ANYWAYS. HA-HAH-HAW-HAW!!!



You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up. Unless You're Being Paid.

YAHOO NEWS
"3 ships thwart attacks by pirates off Somalia"
AAAAAARRRGH!!!

' Pirates armed with rocket-propelled grenades attacked three vessels off Somalia's coast but failed to hijack them because of quick action by crew members, a maritime official said Monday. A Chinese cargo ship, a Singaporean liquefied gas carrier and a Thai bulk carrier managed to thwart the pirates in the Gulf of Aden by increasing speed and taking evasive maneuvers, said Noel Choong of the International Maritime Bureau. Somalia, which has had no functioning government since 1991, is the world's top piracy hotspot. The latest incidents bring to 44 the number of attacks off its coast this year. Most occurred in the Gulf of Aden, Choong said. '

AFP
"Elephant kicks heroin habit with China island rehab: reports"
Much worse than a monkey on your back.

' An elephant has kicked his heroin habit after a three-year stint on an island rehab in southern China, an official and state media said Thursday. The four-year-old Asian elephant, called Xiguang, has now being transported to a wildlife reserve in southwest China after being cured of his addiction with some clean living on Hainan island, Xinhua said. Xiguang became hooked on the narcotic after animal smugglers captured him and other elephants by luring them with bananas laced with heroin in 2005, the official news agency said. '

PC MAGAZINE
"Are the New Microsoft Ads About Kinky Sex?"
Jerry! Say it ain't so!

' Scenario: Two guys meet in a shoe store. The one guys offers a churro to the other—an obvious phallic symbol, possibly a code word. The guy refuses. So the guy with the churro starts to massage the other guy's foot, and asks about what he's feeling. The guy who relented at first says a definite code word: "leather." The two look furtively at each other for an uncomfortably long time. They scene is just short of a wink taking place. One mentions "showering" with clothes on. The next thing you know the twosome, now each holding rigid churros, walk off together. One asks the other to adjust his underwear as a "sign." '

REUTERS
"Australia grants Snoop Dogg visa, plus counseling"
Where was Homeland Security on this?

' Australia granted gangsta rapper Snoop Dogg a visa on Friday after public complaints over a planned tour in October, but said he would be required to undergo counseling before arriving Down Under. Snoop Dogg, whose real name is Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr., was refused permission to even apply for a visa to enter Australia in 2007 because of his criminal record, sinking plans for him to co-host the MTV Australia Video Music Awards. Oscar-winning Australian actor Russell Crowe this week wrote a letter to immigration officials to support Snoop Dogg's visa application and 17-day "Smoked Out" tour. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Saudi: OK to kill owners of 'immoral' TV networks"
At last, something we can agree on! Let's start with Fuxsnooze!

' Saudi Arabia's top judiciary official has issued a religious decree saying it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV networks that broadcast immoral content. The 79-year-old Sheik Saleh al-Lihedan said Thursday that satellite channels cause the "deviance of thousands of people." '

CBS2 LA
"Engineer Apparently Sent Text Message Before Crash"
As I suspected: Texting Kills.

' Metrolink officials Saturday put the blame squarely on the engineer of the train for the deadly crash that has claimed at least 25 lives. They say he ran a red light. But one minute before the deadliest crash in Metrolink history, one teen -- Nick Williams -- said he received a text message on his cell phone from the engineer, whom the teens identified as Robert Sanchez. Williams' received text was brief, "Just two lines", reported KCAL 9 and CBS 2 reporter Kristine Lazar, exclusively. The text apparently told Williams and his friends where Sanchez would be meeting another passenger train. Federal investigators say they will seek the cell phone records of two teenagers and a train engineer as they probe whether text messages factored into a fiery commuter train crash. Kitty Higgins, a board member for the National Transportation Safety Board, says her agency is also talking with the two teens and their families. The teens said that they received a text message from the engineer at 4:22 p.m. Friday, just moments before the deadly crash. Higgins says that the engineer's cell phone was not recovered at the crash site Sunday. Denise Tyrell, a spokesperson for Metrolink commented on the report that Sanchez might have been texting immediately before the crash. She said, "I can't believe someone could be texting while driving a train." '

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SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!