INDONESIA: HUMAN BEINGS SLAUGHTERED

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WESTERN MEDIA: RICH PEOPLE MIGHT LOSE MONEY

ISLAMISTS: DEATH TO RANDOM STRANGERS, INCLUDING MUSLIMS
WHO HAVE NEVER DONE ANYONE ANY HARM; IN THE NAME OF GOD

Excuse Me, When Is The Next Ship Off This *ssh*le Planet?

Yes. It's terrible what happened in Djakarta. Unimaginable. Well, OK, entirely imaginable, if you're a sick bastard. Or if you are one of those people who has survived this sort of thing. Or even if you just followed the news of these outrages, over the years. Imaginable, but inexplicable.

How does a sane, rational human being go from consideration of political objectives to planning and executing mass murder? Of course, you will say, they cannot be sane. They must all be some sort of crazy religious or political fanatics. And maybe that's true. Or maybe it's just more bullsh*t from the media that considers the impact on tourism first and foremost after a massacre. Maybe that explains the thinking of the people who presume to run our planet, right down to the headlines. Maybe they are all insane, fanatical or not, including the media.

Let's face it, our most benign and beloved leaders here in Western Democracyland have themselves planned and executed the deaths of thousands, even millions, from Lincoln to Obama. Maybe that's what turns their hair prematurely gray. But none of them has ever been so deeply affected by the deaths they caused as to cause them to commit suicide, or to enter a mental hospital for treatment, after the slaughter. Most of them even write memoirs, if they're on the winning side.

Let's face this, too: That's why we hired them: To do our dirty work. To be the Psychotic In Charge. To slaughter "The Enemy," those faraway people who remain total strangers to most of us, even after all the intimate carnage. Because in this world, it's Our Psychotic versus Your Psychotic. And we're evidently OK with that. So, when does that spaceship leave this sh*thole?



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REPUBLICAN JOKES FOR THE JOHN

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A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO WARSHENDEN DEE-CEE

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE REPUKELICKIN'S COULDN'T GET ANY MORE RIDICULOUS...





We Laugh Because It Hurts Too Much To Cry


1. Two Republicans go into a gay bar. The bartender says, "What'll ya have?" The first Republican says, "I'll have what he's having," pointing to his friend. His friend says, "Let me check with Rush. I don't think we're supposed to be in here," noting suspiciously the beefcake beer posters, the complete lack of female customers, the rainbow flag and the guys making out on the pool table. He takes off his tin-foil hat, spits on it and points it toward Miami. A bolt of lightning crashes through the ceiling, killing him instantly. The first Republican says, "I guess I won't have what he's having."


2. A conservative and a liberal are arguing about global warming at the International House Of Pancakes. The liberal is wearing shorts, sandals, a Hawaiian shirt and a coconut hat. The conservative is wearing mukluks, a heavy snowsuit with big mittens attached and a great big Russian fur hat. The waitress comes to take their order and the liberal orders something liberal. The waitress turns to the conservative and asks him why he's wearing all the polar expedition gear in an IHOP in the middle of the summer. "IHOP? I thought this was the UN!"


3. Newt Gingrich is at his sixth wife's death-bed. She's pale and weak and he has no trouble removing all her jewelry, and getting her to sign a new will. "What's this, for, Command Master, dear?" his wife asks feebly. "Well, b*tch, I mean, babe, I need your as--mm-- anus," the Speaker responds gruffly. "Your wish is my command, Master. But why?" the poor woman replies. "Aw, Hell, I can't get the librul media to chew me a new one no more! And I can't hardly talk out of the old one atall!"


4. Bobby Jindal is out jogging alongside a swamp somewhere in Louisiana. A gigantic alligator lunges out of the bayou and blocks the Governor's path. "Heck! What do y'all want, alligator?" "I'm going to eat you all up unless you grant me three wishes, Governor," the alligator hisses. "I don't know that I can do that. Are you a contributor?" "My PAC gives heavily to State Senate races. All Republicans, of course. They understand reptiles." "OK. OK, What can we do for you this fine morning?" "First off, you've got to outlaw alligator shoes." "All right, I guess we can do that." "Second, I want to be designated an endangered species." "Well, I'm against that in principle, but it's Federal, so I guess I could bump it up to them. Sure, OK, as long as it's just you." "Third, when you run for President, I want to be your Vice-President." "Aw, I don't think I can do that. It might cost me the fundamentalist vote. How about Secretary of State?" The alligator lunges at the governor, snaps him up and swallows him whole. From deep inside the giant saurian, a tiny voice emerges. "Is this Jimmy Swaggart in here? DEAL, MR. VICE PRESIDENT, YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL!!!"


5. Ann Coulter is having "relations" with a giant venomous snake. She finally gets off, and disgorges the python. The reptile slithers off into a corner and starts crying hysterically. "What the f**k is the matter with you?" Ann asks the snake. "My condom came off!" the python wails.


6. John Boehner is addressing a group of young schoolchildren when little Johnny pops up from the back of the class and asks him a question: "How come your name is 'BONER'???!!!" The Congressman explains that his name is pronounced 'BAYNER,' "It's from the German. It's not pronounced the way it looks." Little Johnny puzzles over this and then demands, "Well how come my Mom says you're such a big dick then?"


7. A Republican and a monkey are shipwrecked together, the only two survivors left in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. Their supplies consist of two oars, one shiny waterproof thermal blanket, one bottle of water, one box of rations, one flare and one Bible. Both survivors eye all the gear, which plainly is enough for only one of them. The monkey picks up the Bible and tosses it overboard. The Republican jumps in after it and manages to rescue the Good Book. When he tries to get back in the boat, the monkey smacks the Republican's hand with an oar repeatedly. The man struggles, but the monkey won't let him back in the boat, and the man won't let go of the Bible. Finally, the Republican cries out in panic and frustration, "Why are you doing this?" The monkey leans right into the man's face and says, "Still think evolution is just a theory?"


8. A mullah, a rabbi and a televangelist are shot into space together in a new philosophical initiative by NASA. The plan is to set an example of religious tolerance on Earth and to bring evidence of Man's spirituality out into the Cosmos. They're headed for Alpha Centauri, and it's a long trip. Mostly, they spend it in suspended animation, but every few years, the unmanned robotic ship brings them out of it automatically, so they can get some exercise while their cryogenic coffins are serviced. The three clerics each address themselves separately to Allah, Jehovah and Jesus, sh*t shower and shave, and sit down together for a nice meal of salty protein sticks and glucosed mineral-water. After dinner, the rebbe breaks out a deck of cards, shuffles them and deals them out to his shipmates. They're traveling light, so there is nothing physical to wager. The televangelist suggests that they play a game of truth or dare. The loser of each hand has to admit some uncomfortable truth about himself or accept any sort of a dare from the winner of the hand. The Jew loses the first hand, and admits he once tasted ham, just out of curiosity, but only one small bite. The Muslim loses the next hand, and confesses that he once "accidentally" ate some baby-back ribs at a backyard barbeque, but he spit it out when he found out what it was. The Christian loses the next hand and says that he ate Pig all the time back on Earth, and he loved it. The other two are disgusted, but the Rabbi objects, "But, for you, it's not a sin! It doesn't count as an uncomfortable truth in this game." "You don't understand," the minister objects," 'Pig' is what me and my cousin called his little sister."


9. Q: What's the difference between a Republican and a c*nt?
A: Let's not split hairs.


10. Rupert Murdoch arrives at last at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. When he gets to the front of the line, Saint Peter asks the media mogul whether he thinks he should go to Paradise or the Inferno. "Paradise, of course, mate," Sir Rupert says. "Really? And why is that," asks St. Peter. "Well, I've given tens, maybe hundreds of dollars to charity and I've been in church more than twice. And I wouldn't mind doing a good deed, if I ever had the time," says Murdoch, squinting hopefully at the Saint's Golden Book open before him, trying to read it upside down. "Is that all?" Peter says. "Crikey, I've brought goodness and light into the lives of millions with Fox News, the Sun newspaper and the New York Post." "Oh, THAT Murdoch!" the Saint exclaims, and slams his book shut, grabbing the lever that will open the trap door over the chute to Hell, right under Rupert Murdoch's feet. "But wait, there's more!" Murdoch objects. As he yanks the lever, sending the publisher straight down into the fiery furnace, St. Peter shouts down at Murdoch, "You know, we get the Post up here!"


(All of these original attempted witticisms are the sole responsibility & property of Cosa Nostradamus)
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HOLY TORTILLAS! VIRGIN MARY SEEN IN MEXICO - NUDE!

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AL-LAH!! PROPHET MOHAMMAD'S WIFE AISHA EXPOSED!!



OY VEY!!! BARBRA STREISAND KISSES BUSH!!!

YOUTUBE: CBS NEWS
"Streisand and Bush Awkward Kiss"
You must remember this, A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, The fundamental things apply, As time goes by...


Will The Blasphemy Never Stop? Oh, Well, SCOTUS Says Obscenity's In The Beholder's Eye...

All I ever get in my eye is soot. The things I consider to be obscene are perfectly acceptible to most people: The effects of landmines, clusterbombs and napalm on children, in the name of empire. The deliberate starvation and witholding of medical care or shelter from millions of people, in the name of profit. Jay Leno on five nights a week in prime time, in the name of God!

The really awful realities of some things can go on forever, as far as the Powers That Be are concerned. But let something symbolic slip their grasp, and they mobilize immediately. Rampant official corruption and the growing political influence of the drug mafia's throughout Latin America and the U.S. have been going on for years, with no effective response from the high muckety-mucks here and abroad. But let an artist plunge a crucifix into his own urine; let a magazine publish an image of a contemporary model done up like the Virgin Mary; let an author write a novel about Islam's founder's wife, and the machinery of money and power suddenly starts up, and kicks into high gear. In rapid order, the art is condemned, the magazine issues a mea culpa, the book doesn't get published.

Is this because religion, the State and our corporate masters have only symbolic powers today? Or is it that we ourselves are only concerned with memes and metaphors, words and pictures, plays and movies, make-believe? We all know that children are starved, raped, molested, prostituted, sold, drugged, taken by armies, mutilated and murdered every day, yet we do nothing about this. It doesn't concern us. We simply put it out of our minds.

But if someone were to make or sell a book or a movie, or even just express a desire or an interest in doing these things, we would all be outraged and demand his or her job, if not his head, on the grounds of insanity or criminality. How crazy are we? The reality is OK, but the expression of the idea of the reality is not? As long as the terrible realities remain outside of our heads, banished from our awareness, it's all good? But once the awareness of these things begins to seep in through our eyes and ears, we wake up and start screaming until the images go away, like children's nightmares do once the lights come on. Is that how the world works, or fails to work?

Well, I've got some naked pictures to look at. Don't worry, they're not religious chicks. These women have officially designated as strumpets, approved for humiliation and masturbation and damnation. It's just an idea, an orgasm, isn't it? Well, some spasming, but that's involuntary. Like so much of life these days. Ah, freedom!


REUTERS
"Nude Virgin Mary cover prompts Playboy apology"
Virgins in "Playboy"! Ai, que milagro!

' A nude model resembling the Virgin Mary on the cover of the Mexican edition of Playboy magazine, published only days before a major Mexican festival dedicated to the mother of Jesus, prompted the company's U.S. headquarters on Friday to apologize. The magazine, which hit newsstands on December 1 as ceremonies began leading to Friday's pilgrimage to the Mexico City shrine of the Virgin of Guadalupe, showed a model wearing nothing but a white cloth over her head and breasts. '

REUTERS
"Random House pulls novel on Islam, fears violence"
I'm gonna wait for the movie, if it is the will of Allah that it should be greenlighted.

' Publisher Random House has pulled a novel about the Prophet Mohammed's child bride, fearing it could "incite acts of violence." "The Jewel of Medina," a debut novel by journalist Sherry Jones, 46, was due to be published on August 12 by Random House, a unit of Bertelsmann AG, and an eight-city publicity tour had been scheduled, Jones told Reuters on Thursday. The novel traces the life of A'isha from her engagement to Mohammed, when she was six, until the prophet's death. Jones said that she was shocked to learn in May, that publication would be postponed indefinitely. "I have deliberately and consciously written respectfully about Islam and Mohammed ... I envisioned that my book would be a bridge-builder," said Jones. Random House deputy publisher Thomas Perry said in a statement the company received "cautionary advice not only that the publication of this book might be offensive to some in the Muslim community, but also that it could incite acts of violence by a small, radical segment." "In this instance we decided, after much deliberation, to postpone publication for the safety of the author, employees of Random House, booksellers and anyone else who would be involved in distribution and sale of the novel," Perry said. '

LA WEEKLY
"Marking Our Turf: The Piss Christ Moment in America's Culture Wars"
Better to have them inside the tabernaculum pissing out, than outside pissing in.

' If you look at Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ now, it’s hard to see what the fuss was all about: a faintly discernible plastic Jesus submerged in a red-orange liquid. In 1989, though, it was one of the most incendiary images in America, the object of outrage among right-wing politicians like New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani and United States senators Jesse Helms and Al D’Amato. That the government had helped to fund such art was an assault on common decency, a misappropriation of taxpayers’ dollars (and, of course, these elected officials questioned whether Piss Christ was “art”). In retrospect, the attack on Serrano (and photographer Robert Mapplethorpe) was the Fort Sumter of the cultural wars: the opening salvo in a conflict that would consume the country and have liberals on the defensive for much of the next 19 years. We didn’t know this at the time. What we did know was that the assault on Serrano and Mapplethorpe was a not-so-veiled attack on gay rights, that the issue of government funding of the arts is extraordinarily complex, that sex and censorship and patronage were at the core of the controversy, and that the whole thing was touching a lot of nerves. In short, we knew it was exactly the kind of subject L.A. Weekly should weigh in on. For the August 25-31 issue, art critic Ralph Rugoff provided a piece about Serrano and Mapplethorpe as artists; former associate editor Michael Lassell wrote about the effect on gay culture; and, most provocatively, columnist Michael Ventura condemned artists for taking money from the government. '

[Cross-posted at CoffeeHouseStudio by cosanostradamus.]
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